November 9th

I wrote this last night at 4 a.m.:

I’m stunned. And I have no idea how to explain the results of the election to the boys in the morning. I thought I understood my own country so much better than this and feel so sickened to have been so wrong. But we all have to get up in the morning and move forward and make choices.

As a mother the choices are a little easier. I choose to continue to teach my children that bigotry and sexism are wrong, despite tonight’s results. And that when given the chance and the choice… we lift others up rather than tear people down. I also choose to teach my sons perspective, on both their own privilege as well as the challenges faced by others who will not grow up to be white men like they will. The fact that these choices are within my control give me a little consolation tonight.

But as a woman I, like so many others, have endured so much bullshit sexism throughout my life. Just today I had to sit through a two-hour meeting opposite a man twice my age who kept repeatedly and obviously staring at my breasts while I had to sit there and pretend like he wasn’t. And no more than an hour later I was in a meeting with another man who made a bumbling, baseless comment that we needed more men in my profession while seated at a table of intelligent, young women who kick ass at their jobs. So tonight it’s hard not to feel completely defeated right now. It feels like a slap in the face and reinforces the feeling that no matter how hard you work and prepare and fight the good fights and stand up for your values and try to do it all with character, you still lose due to ugliness beyond your control that you are expected to just endure because you are a woman.

I can only hope that those on the other side recognize that we have to come together for the sake of our shared future. Because the world IS changing, whether or not they want it to, in spite of the results tonight. And I hope that those of us who fight for the changes our world needs wake up tomorrow, wipe away the tears, and keep fighting those good fights.

Thank you, Hillary, for fighting the good fight. For me and for so many other women and children and minorities and people for whom your 30 years of public service HAS made the world a better place. While it may not have moved as far as we would have liked last night, thank you for moving the needle for all of us.