This pregnancy has seemed so much quieter than when we were expecting Matteo. With a first baby there were showers to attend and baby gear to assemble and throughout it all I chronicled every little twinge in my journal.
With this baby it’s like, “wow, how did we get here already?” I’m in my 40th week and the baby could come at any time. In just a matter of days my youngest son will be born into this world.
Am I ready? In some ways I’ve been ready for this for years. I’ve always seen myself with two children and I’m looking forward to all of us finally meeting each other and being together. But in other ways I feel like I’ve forgotten everything! Pain management during labor? Uhhhh… Feeding and changing a newborn multiple times a night? Hmmmmm… I’ve kind of blocked all of that stuff out.
Sometimes I feel a little wistful that this will mostly likely be the last time I am pregnant. I don’t particularly enjoy being pregnant. I see women out running and I watch my team playing lacrosse and my own body feels so cumbersome and heavy and ungainly. I look forward to having my regular body back so I can hold Matteo on my lap again and put my shoes on without breaking a sweat. But I’m trying to appreciate these days, too. Carrying a baby is such an intimate experience and when it’s all over and our baby comes into this world, there is a part of me that will miss the closeness that only we will have ever shared.