our own selves

our own selves

It’s purple Friday for Ravens fans, which means I’m looking like Grimace today. See what I mean? This was me last weekend at almost 32 weeks.

32 weeks

You know, this is going to sound really stupid, but it just hit me today that we’re having another child. Yes, yes, I know. OBVIOUSLY I know that I’ve been pregnant for the last eight months. And we’ve been making all sorts of plans to incorporate another human being into our home so it’s not like this is a shock. We have been actively planning for this new development as best we can. We’re not completely foolish.

But it just hit me that in just a few more short weeks there will be another sweet boy in our lives for us to love and nurture and get to know. I think I’ve just been imagining he will be like a little Matteo 2.0 because it’s my default. I’ve been imagining him looking like Matteo and behaving like Matteo, because that is the only baby I’ve really known so intimately. But this morning it occurred to me that this baby is unique and we have absolutely no idea who he will be, only that he will be his own self.

One of Matteo’s favorite things to say these days is, “I DO IT MY OWN SELF!” I realized this morning I need to open myself up more to who this new little guy will be and, when he arrives, remember to treat both of them as individuals – not just older and younger versions of the same person.

I’ll admit that for most of this pregnancy I’ve been on autopilot. But that changed for me today. The excitement, the anticipation, the giddiness I felt before Matteo was born came flooding back and made me want to rush home and reassemble the crib.

52 more days.


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