Tomorrow, if the baby doesn’t come on his own, I’m going to be induced. I’m okay with this. There is a part of me that wishes he would come out on his own and choose his own birthday but as I approach 42 weeks I accept the decision to go ahead and give him a little nudge. Plus, I’m almost 4cm dilated and am already 80% effaced. I’ve been in some stage of early labor for weeks already so the conditions are all favorable for a smooth and healthy delivery.
I was so certain he would come last week that when he didn’t I was initially disappointed. I had been thinking that the best case scenario for us would have been for him to come while Matt was home for spring break so we would have an extra week together. And I was also feeling stressed and strange that I was home from work without having had the baby yet.
But as the week went on, and the baby chose to stay inside for a few more days, the opportunity to enjoy these last days with just the three of us became a wonderful gift. We went out to eat, we took long walks, we played baseball, we watched ‘E.T.’ for the first time (which Matteo loved). It was the best possible way to spend the break.
I have such a different mix of emotions with this baby’s birth. Before Matteo was born I was excited, but had no idea what I was in for. There was such a greater sense of heading into the unknown. This time around I feel much more confident, and even MORE excited to meet this little one now that I know how much I love being a mother. But the flip side of that is I also feel really sensitive to the transition Matteo is about to go through, going from the only child to having to share me with another baby. Knowing this will be challenging for him makes me sad, although I know he’s going to be a wonderful big brother.
My goal with Matteo over these next few months is to make sure I try to say yes more than no. To look at him when he’s talking to me so he knows I’m really listening. And to remember that he is just a small child and no matter how big he’s going to suddenly seem once there is a newborn in the house, he’s also my baby and he needs me just as much as he always has.
Here’s a little video of him and Matt playing baseball last week. He picks things up so quickly it’s amazing. Here he’s hitting a full-sized softball with a tiny aluminum bat our friends gave him for his birthday last year. That’s my baby.
Yesterday we surprised Matteo and took him to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live! He was totally enchanted and sat on our laps the entire time staring wide-eyed at the stage, soaking it all in as his favorite TV characters came to life right in front of him.
This was kind of our last hurrah as a family of three. I’m not due for another nine weeks but it’s unlikely we’ll all have another day off where we can do something really special like that. Before Matteo was born, Matt and I enjoyed a weekend getaway a spa. Yesterday was a different sort of getaway but the intention was still the same – to take a moment and enjoy this lovely time in our lives before it all changes again.
Sometimes I wonder if I go over the top celebrating the little things. But I think in this case it was definitely all worth it. Matteo and I made a half birthday cake afterschool – blue with trucks on it just like he wanted – and he was thrilled.
I picked Matteo up from school early so he, Kevin and I could walk in the neighborhood Halloween parade. After that we went trick or treating for about an hour and then finished off the night with spooky pizzas for dinner (I sliced fresh mozzarella to look like ghosts.) I hope you all had a happy Halloween as well!
Today is Matteo’s last day of school before he moves to his new school next week. He’s been here since he was four months old and we’ve grown very attached to the teachers. I shed more than a few tears this morning and I’m sure there will be more when I pick him up for the last time this afternoon.
This is a very bittersweet transition. Matteo had some challenging behavior issues this spring and at the beginning of this school year where he was being really aggressive with other kids. I felt helpless and terrible but his teachers were really supportive and comforting. I know it’s time for him to move on, and there are so many wonderful things waiting for him at his new school, but I’m nervous. I also worry about him leaving his friends. I know he’ll really miss them.
As a goodbye gift, the teachers made him a photo album of pictures of his class and a scrapbook with pages from each of the other kids.
Goodbye for now Wee Start. We look forward to seeing you every day again next fall with Baby #2!
Here are some photos from last Friday’s Halloween party downtown and a few of us carving pumpkins Monday night. This afternoon we’ll be walking in the neighborhood Halloween parade, going trick-or-treating and then enjoying special spooky pizzas for dinner!